WTFQDB: #wtf.com IRC Quote Database

#4558 * + (8/15) - [X]
<DullBulle> my ass is already being stomped, so to speak
<lcarus> Fuck yeah bitch
<DullBulle> I also don't have a girlfriend :(
Comment: PRAWNED

#4551 * + (30/57) - [X]
<+Icarus> I only wish my girlfriend was a 200 pound dude
<+Icarus> She can\'t really massage me hard enough
Comment: <|Danni|>

#1419 * + (41/72) - [X]
<V3N> SHEP!!!
<shep> yo
<V3N> sup?
<shep> nm
<V3N> same
<shep> who dis be?
<Lynny> really
<V3N> V3N
<Lynny> Im from deer park
<shep> ok
<V3N> ;)
<Lynny> thats sooo weird
<V3N> down for sex?
<shep> been awile dude,memory is bad
<shep> sure
<V3N> sweet
<shep> bend over
<Lynny> so I bet I could totally get my bf to buy beer and I could bring a squirrel and we couopld play :)
<V3N> already bent
<shep> lol
<Boot2theh> ?
Comment: ?

#1143 * + (43/80) - [X]
<+kich> you guys fucking suck.
<+kich> it snowed today.
<@[BRiT]> kich, wtf did you expect, you live right there where you can see Russia
<@[BRiT]> of course its going to snow
Comment: On climate, foreign experience, and Palin failures...

#1122 * + (38/80) - [X]
[01:15:23] <+DullBulle> are you drunk hq
[01:15:27] <+HrlyQnn> it's never good to wake up with something in your mouth you didn't put in there
[01:15:35] <+DullBulle> Good answer

#1109 * + (34/75) - [X]
<MOGUERA> MOGUERA!!
<MOGUERA> *cough*
*** Jiraffe has quit (Quit: kthxbai!)
<MOGUERA> \'Raffe can\'t withsatnd my robotness. lol.
<Darklight> ...
<Darklight> I figured it was just monster explosive diareahh from eating bad mexican beans
<MOGUERA> I don\'t get that, for I ARE TEH ROBOT!!
<Darklight> ummm
<MOGUERA> Also, you spelled diarrhea\" wrong.
<Darklight> spelling is not a requirement of anger
<MOGUERA> Anger? about what?
<Darklight> does a person need a reason to be angry?
<Darklight> maybe being angry makes me happy
<Darklight> :D
<MOGUERA> YAY!
<MOGUERA> Large Hadron Colliders make MOGUERA happy.
<MOGUERA> :P
<Darklight> cause its like a super magnetic robot cock ring?
<MOGUERA> Or a nice headband.
<MOGUERA> Or tail accessory
<MOGUERA> Or vagina substitute
<Darklight> what better way to turn on the chicks then creating a minature black hole in the absolute destruction of matter between the crotches
<MOGUERA> ^^
<Darklight> its like sex with the primordial force of the universe
<Darklight> now im horney for the LHC

#1108 * + (40/75) - [X]
<Swah> ...silence...
<MOGUERA> is bronze
<Swah> I thought is was gold...
<MOGUERA> Well, it got downgraded.
<Swah> meuh.. :(
<MOGUERA> Besides, now that it's bronze it can be made into weapons.
<Swah> hm...
* MOGUERA slashes Swah with a Silence longsword
* Swah didn't hear that one coming...
Comment: <MOGUERA> lol

#863 * + (37/68) - [X]
<[BRiT]> btw: lyn's ass crashed my PC...
<Lyn> brit....really?
<[BRiT]> yeah, BSOD and everything... i dont think it could take the hotness
<Lyn> I think this goes to prove that your computer wasnt ready for mah jelly
Comment: That jelly is NSFW

#695 * + (46/81) - [X]
<Jingles> so we're about to have rat sex
<Jingles> not tai
<Jingles> but me and the rat
<Jingles> it's already hawt in her
<Jingles> lol
<Icarus> Continue
<Jingles> this little one is cute though
<Jingles> she's older
<Jingles> used to be a classroom pet
<Jingles> but she doesn't know how to bite anyone
<Jingles> she's quite sweet actually
Comment: Jingles explains the benefits of rat sex.

#647 * + (39/78) - [X]
[19:49] <[_]Max[_]> I have a box of freshly baked fudge brownies from ASDA that I\'m going to wipe out with a glass of milk.
[19:51] <Lyn> you suck
[19:51] <Lyn> I have....
[19:51] <Lyn> a peanut butter and raspberry jam sandwich on nasty low carb bread
[19:53] <[_]Max[_]> I\'d type something sympathetic, but my fingers are covered in sticky fudge brownie.
[19:53] <Lyn> Im sure there is a special place in hell reserved for you

#604 * + (50/82) - [X]
<[_]Max[_]> Weeeee. I'm drinking 7.4% beer and eating jello shots tonight!
<Wiz|AFK> 7.4 pretty fancy
<[_]Max[_]> http://www.brakspear-beers.co.uk/brakspear2006_packaged.htm#triple
<Wiz|AFK> that's how I choose wine
<Wiz|AFK> look for 13+
<Wiz|AFK> 14 is the winner if available
<[_]Max[_]> I thought that was how you chose your women.
<Wiz|AFK> touche

#397 * + (35/71) - [X]
<DullBulle> http://xkcd.com/303/
<DullBulle> I need to buy the T-shirt of that one
<DullBulle> I also need to buy those switch and button labels for unlabeled buttons
<DullBulle> Because being able to put "EJECT" on the A/C button is just awesome
<|BRiT|> lol

#396 * + (41/76) - [X]
<LawnGirl> NOTHING
<LawnGirl> sorry
<LawnGirl> capps
<Swah> haha
<Swah> n00b :P
<LawnGirl> what noob where?
*** KBz has joined #wtf.com

#394 * + (45/81) - [X]
@Tostig lays on spun and goes to sleep
+Spunny sleeps too
@Alyth snores really loudly making it impossible for everyone to sleep ;)
+KBz stuffs a sock in Alyths mouth
@Alyth chokes and suffocates
<+KBz> ahhh, teh power of silence
+KBz sleeps
Comment: Shhhhh....

#393 * + (35/75) - [X]
<Randoman> I wish your imaginary girlfriend would get off of me.
<Spunny> why the fuck would I have an imaginary girlfriend? I hate women
<Randoman> Oooh, a little bit'o "honey" in ya?
<Randoman> Let me reiterate
<Randoman> Are you a homosexual?
<spunafk> no I'm a fucking girl
<spunafk> lmao
<Randoman> Ah.
<Randoman> okay.
<Randoman> nvm then
* Randoman (Ranter@AC865FAA.ipt.aol.com) Quit (Quit: kthxbai!)
<[_MaX_]> Randoman, cruising for a date again?

#391 * + (39/77) - [X]
<+Dradio> I couldn't find "chest hair" in the Uniform Code.
<+Dradio> What would that look like? "...all chest hair must be at least 1/4 in below the neckline of all pt/bdu/acu t-shirts..."
<@Tostig> maybe because it's not supposed to be there
<@Tostig> how else would you get a good seal on your gas parka?
+Dradio> If you're putting your MOPP gear on your chest: A.) You're doing something very, very wrong. B.) You are too stupid to live.
[01:40] <+Icarus> C.) There's hella poison

#390 * + (37/71) - [X]
<V3N> just stick your nuts in the microwave for about 5 minutes
<MehMeh> Well you really shouldn't.
<Wizardly> on the other you have a potential unprotected 3-some with 2 lesbians
<Alyth> to me that would be too young to really allow that responsibility.
Comment: Alyth, the voice of reason.

#389 * + (40/74) - [X]
<Icarus> I photographed a retirement party for this old lady my mom worked with
<Icarus> I agreed to do it when I was high, i think, and I have no idea why
<Icarus> It sucked
<Icarus> Some lady who was hot for a 50 year old came on to me though
<Icarus> I was tempted in a not-tempted sort of way
<Icarus> Especially because she works with my mom
<Jingles> Does she make good money?
<Icarus> I dunno
<Jingles> TAP THAT SHIT YO
<[_]Max[_]> Make dry gray love to her!
<Icarus> Hahaha
<Icarus> She's not gray (hair dye, I'm sure)
<Icarus> Okay, reboot, brb
<[_]Max[_]> maybe she'll bake you cookies after
<Jingles> ooooh that would be tits
<Jingles> Tai doesn't even bake me cookies
<[_]Max[_]> <Icarus> She's not gray (hair dye, I'm sure) :: Theres tar on the roof but snow on the lawn.
<BrION> perhaps she has cookies for tits
<Jingles> ??
<[_]Max[_]> "Come to mama my little cookie monster"

#388 * + (36/73) - [X]
[20:58] <|DG|> logic is based on math
[20:58] <|DG|> math came before logic
Comment: oookay. <3 DG.

#386 * + (39/67) - [X]
<Landshark> did you play "just the tip" with that carrot
<|CL|> landshark has experience
<Landshark> it is a fun game
<|CL|> and then?
<Landshark> hide the pickle
<|CL|> landshark, you shouldn't announce that..there might be some takers
<V3N> I'm already sending him a pm

#385 * + (31/65) - [X]
Not an IRC Quote. But a classic post from Descent on wtf.com:

I officially have won at the Internets better than all of you.
Yesterday, I wanted some Mongolian porn. I've seen all the wimmenz of Asia but Mongol chicks. And damn, I love Asians.

I was shocked to find that it was non-existant.

But...After 10 minutes of surfing, AllTheWeb's image search pointed me to TWO INSTANCES OF MONGOL PORN .

They're just like Chinese chicks, but with better hair.

Mongolian > Chinese

Also, I GoogleWhacked successfully .

GOOGLE: urinator freespace

I own all of you.

Seriously, I don't see what's odd about Mongolian porn.

It's Asian, the nationality just has a barbaric sound to it. Big deal.

That doesn't mean the people are barbaric.

So now, I guess it's strange to have an Asian fetish .

Beastiality is hardly a rare occurance. It's funny shit, especially when the girl is doing a horse or an eel.

I don't know, just seeing a chick with a horse's dick in her bum makes me laugh to the point where I almost cry.
Descent is a veteran, son. Thick and thin, noobs and queers, Descent has stuck around. Don't expect a 1-up on this one, you don't have the pull, kid. So show some respect, grasshopper. Descent is a Raging Ranter of the highest caliber. Very few can even imagine the levels of rant that Descent conquers without even getting out of bed. A ranting phenomenon worthy of the gods, when it comes to ranting there are few who can handle Descent's wrath. So beware this badge of honor, for Descent is not one with whom to fuck.
Comment: .

#384 * + (37/64) - [X]
*** Musee has quit
* Swah gets another beer
<Dradio> We have been disamused....
Comment: talk about timing...

#383 * + (34/71) - [X]
<Rook> Icarus cut the crap
<Rook> Cut the CRAP.
<Rook> SON.
<Wizardly> can't be done if it's diarhea
<BrIONfood> You should make a diet plan with that motto.
<BrIONfood> "Cut the crap... OUTTA YOUR DIET!"
<Icarus> Or
<Icarus> For a lobotomy plan.
<Icarus> "Cut the crap... OUTTA YOUR BRAIN!"
<Rook> What?
<BrIONfood> ^satisfied customer
<Rook> ^ gay
<Rook> v gay
<Wizardly> I'll gay you
<Icarus> ------ mirror
<Wizardly> bitch
<Icarus> Damnit
<Icarus> I had the perfect retort
<Icarus> Rook, try it again
<Rook> ^ gay
<Rook> owned
<Rook> stfu
<Icarus> ---------- mirror
<Icarus> STUF
<Rook> ^ cool
<Rook> FUCK
<Icarus> Thx
<Icarus> FAGGOT
<Rook> ^
<Icarus> Yes, I am glad you agree
<Rook> I'm going to make an untouchable shield
<Icarus> ^
<Rook> ^ gay
<Rook> <-- straight
<Icarus> STOP BEING SO QUEER
<Rook> v gay
<Rook> OWNED
<Icarus> Hahahaha
<Icarus> You did just own yourself
<Rook> hmm
<Rook> how can I build the perfect defense
<Rook> -------
<Rook> honestly, the best way is to just mirror at the end of every line
<Rook> -------
<Icarus> ^ awesome
<Icarus> See, it's not all gravy.
<Rook> ^ awesomely gay
<Rook> -------
<Rook> ^ cool
<Rook> v gay
<Icarus> ------
<Icarus> ^awesome
<Icarus> -------
<Rook> -----[] hammer
* Icarus is impenetrable.
<Rook> ^ gay
<Rook> i broke your mirror and threw a gay in
<Rook> ----
<Icarus> omfg, stop innovating
<Rook> ^ gay
<Rook> ---
<Icarus> [][][][][][] brick wall
<Icarus> ^awesome guy
<Icarus> [][][][][][][]
<Rook> /\
<Rook> []
<Rook> []
<Rook> []
<Rook> []
<Rook> []
* |BRiT| has kicked Rook from #wtf.com (Repeating - 4 times)
<zoloftcas> haha
<Icarus> VICTORY IS MINE
* Rook (~Rook@adsl-3-130-136.mia.bellsouth.net) has joined #wtf.com
<Rook> that was a drill
<Rook> v gay
<BrIONfood> that was a shitty drill
<Wizardly> gay >>> / |mirror
<Wizardly> mirro#2/ |#1
<Wizardly> \
<Wizardly> \ mirror # 3
<Wizardly> downward | | \
<Rook> v gay
<Wizardly> tube | |
<Wizardly> | |
<Rook> i hit your #2 mirror
<Rook> which bounced it back up to brion
<Rook> --------
<Rook> and there's no brick walls, icarus
<Rook> that's unfair
<Rook> and stupid
<Rook> faggot
* |BRiT| sets ban on *!*Rook@*.mia.bellsouth.net
* |BRiT| has kicked Rook from #wtf.com (...)
<Icarus> Dude, you guys are just getting gay.
<Wizardly> wtf, are we using white magic or black magic rules?
<BrIONfood> Wiz uses blueballs magic
<BrIONfood> fag
Comment: <Wizardly> please include this line <<<<<

#382 * + (40/72) - [X]
<BrION> where did you get fired from?
<BrION> The 7-11?
<Guest_216> the day earlier i did take off but i clearly stated i wasn't gonna be there.
<Guest_216> and,
<Guest_216> in fact its a major company
<Guest_216> BITE ME!
<BrION> no
<BrION> if it's a 'major company' and you didn't show up to work
<BrION> you got shit canned
<BrION> because you were expendable
<Guest_216> I CLEARLY STATED I WAS TAKING OFF THAT DAY!
<BrION> did you have vacation days?
<Guest_216> yes.
<BrION> were you a full time employee?
<Guest_216> yes.
<BrION> 40 hours a week with benefits
<Guest_216> yes!!!!
<BrION> I smell lies.
<Guest_216> i smell your ass.
<BrION> that would've gotten you fired too
<BrION> running aruond the job sniffing asses
<Guest_216> OH PISS OFF!
* Guest_216 (~Guest_216@cpe-24-93-173-168.neo.res.rr.com) Quit (Quit: kthxbai!)

#380 * + (36/65) - [X]
<morphineD> eh. my computers being a fag.
<Draygoon> A what?
<morphineD> um. faggot. fag. anal cannal seeker?
* morphineD was kicked by [BRiT] (...)
<Draygoon> Pwnt
<BrION> Nice dray
<BrION> NICE
Comment: A rare display of Dray being an asshole.

#379 * + (38/73) - [X]
<KBz> max
<KBz> that's not the same chick.
<[MaX]> Shush!
<KBz> lol
<KBz> zipped
<[MaX]> don't you dare tip anyone off
<[MaX]> I want to snag someone in not noticing her face
<[MaX]> ;)
<KBz> it's pretty obvious.
<[MaX]> SHHHHH!
<[MaX]> Nothing is obvious!
<[MaX]> The cake is a lie!
<KBz> lol indeed.
<KBz> but you don't have to notice the face
<KBz> there's the earrings
<KBz> the tattoo
<KBz> the hat
<KBz> lol
<KBz> I feel like I'm playing a bar game.
<KBz> alright peoples I'm outta work. Till tomorrow...
<KBz> PEACE
* KBz (~Guest_055@168.184.243.207) Quit (Quit: kthxbai!)
<[MaX]> KBz is a total homo if he can describe all that.
Comment: http://forums.wtf.com/showpost.php?p=881297&postcount=12

#378 * + (33/65) - [X]
<[MaX]> OrangeGlow
<[MaX]> Replying to Thread
<[MaX]> Web Cam Sex.....
<V3N> lol
<[MaX]> http://forums.wtf.com/showthread.php?p=880110#post880110
<V3N> comedy
* OrangeHoe (~Yourmom@cpe-67-49-92-152.socal.res.rr.com) has joined #wtf.com
* [BRiT] sets mode: +v OrangeHoe
<[MaX]> heehee
* OrangeHoe is now known as Camsecks4
<Camsecks4> aw.
[20:03:45] <Guest_821> ewwww
[20:03:47] <V3N> lol
[20:03:52] <Camsecks4> I was going to put "camsecks4$"
[20:03:54] <[MaX]> <--Psychic
Comment: .

#377 * + (32/55) - [X]
* Guest_576 (~Guest_576@adsl-146-182-248.mem.bellsouth.net) has joined #wtf.com
<Guest_576> hi
<Guest_576> ladies wanna chat
* Guest_576 was kicked by [Jung] (lol)
Comment: .

#375 * + (34/72) - [X]
<OrangeGlo> My friend and I just paraded around runescape chanting
<OrangeGlo> "christians follow a false god"
<OrangeGlo> some guy comes up to me and goes
<OrangeGlo> "youre going to hell"
<OrangeGlo> so I follow him and go
<OrangeGlo> "Have you ever done something the bible considers wrong?
<Draygoon> I mean, seriously. If we were acquaintances IRL I believe I'd drive you to work once or twice, you seem like a decent enough fellow, but you can bet I'd vever trust you not to screw me if i let you have free run with my money
<OrangeGlo> Have you ever lied to get outta shcool, or cheated on your girlfriend?"
<OrangeGlo> at this point hes screaming
<OrangeGlo> "stop it!"
<OrangeGlo> "go away!"
<OrangeGlo> and i keep going
<OrangeGlo> "Then you are going to hell too
* OrangeGlo was kicked by [BRiT] (stop it! go away!)

#373 * + (34/70) - [X]
<jane> i needed to charge the laptop lol
<Draygoon> ah
<jane> i had 21% left
<Draygoon> fortyish minutes?
<jane> yes
<jane> you loser.
Comment: that is just sad

#372 * + (32/68) - [X]
<Draygoon> Rook
<Draygoon> Want an under-the-table BJ?
<Rook> Yeah.
<Rook> Sure.
Comment: .

#371 * + (38/66) - [X]
<[Static]> So, my friend is a dyke, right?
<V3N> go on
<[Static]> And she and I were talking about one of her ex's, and she was like, "You know... I wish she had a penis. There was seriously too much vagina in that relationship. And not in a good way."
<FDDICent> [Static] Vagina! It's not just for breakfast anymore! Unless you're [Static] ...then it's teh cawk.
<[Static]> And it struck me as incredibly hilarious for some reason.

#370 * + (39/70) - [X]
[01:29] <@DG2> GET YOUR LAZY ASS UP THOSE TITS RIGHT NOW PRIVATE DEAD BABY ONE MILLION
[01:29] <@DG2> ha ha ha
[01:29] <@DG2> loms
[01:29] <+loms> what?
[01:30] <@DG2> you aren\'t old enough for this convo
[01:30] <@DG2> go to bed.
[01:30] <+V3N> DG, exactly
[01:30] <+V3N> about sperm, not loms
[01:30] <+loms> DG, I\'ve done things you and CL can only dream of
[01:30] <@DG2> lol
[01:30] <+loms> well
[01:30] <@DG2> ha ha ha
[01:30] <+loms> I\'ve masturbated to things

#369 * + (44/86) - [X]
<zoloftcas> You dont even have any pics of me, dork
<WizardlyF> that's what you think
<zoloftcas> o
<WizardlyF> I thought of something more awkward
<WizardlyF> but I shall restrain myself
<WizardlyF> because it's that bad
<Icarus> Zolocaust is hot
<Icarus> I have pics of her
<WizardlyF> didnt you post your picture in the booby thread zoloft?
<WizardlyF> which I definitely DONT have as my desktop background
<GiantsW|n> She posted a pic of her Huge cans
<BrIONwosh> I saved them.
<GiantsW|n> me too
<GiantsW|n> that pic is my wallpaper
<GiantsW|n> and not the wallpaper on my computer. I did my livingroom in it.
<WizardlyF> I had it custom printed on toilet paper
<WizardlyF> because Im into poop
<zoloftcas> Awesome
<WizardlyF> so every time I wipe
<GiantsW|n> p
<WizardlyF> OH YEAH
Comment: .

#368 * + (41/81) - [X]
<NYGiants> Sweeny Todd isn't as lame as one might think for a musical.
<NYGiants> I'm not a huge fan of musicals
<[BRiT]> The best musical in existence is BtVS:TS OMWF
<V3N> what's your favorite musical, MaX?
<NYGiants> It's between Chitty chitty Bang Bang (the midget anal porn version) and Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory (the 2 girl one cup version)

#367 * + (48/88) - [X]
<Unspun> I\'d kick someone in their dick if they tried to ass fuck on my stuff
Comment: no gay humping on unspuns stuff.

#365 * + (41/76) - [X]
<Icarus> I like my work. Mmmm, 8 hour day
* Icarus grabs money by the balls.
<Icarus> 8 hours at $15/hr
<[Taylor]> you grab balls for money?

#364 * + (35/68) - [X]
<steelasp> MUSEE!
<eGhost> Hey Muse
<Musee> Hi.
<V3N> at this rate we're going to need a talking stick.
<[a|ien]> lol

#363 * + (37/70) - [X]
<[MaX]> France will be destroyed
<[Taylor]> before or after they waive the white flag?
Comment: i rofled

#362 * + (39/73) - [X]
<@[Taylor]> ya'll have fun, I'm out.
<@BrIONwosh> NO
<@BrIONwosh> I refuse.
<@BrIONwosh> AND
<@BrIONwosh> YOU CAN'T MAKE ME
<@BrIONwosh> asswipe
<+OrangeGlo> Do it or ill tell J to revoke your modship.
<+OrangeGlo> and youll probably commit suicide after that
<+OrangeGlo> So do you wanna die as a mod or an ex-mod?
<+OrangeGlo> DO YOU WANNA DIE AS AN EX-MOD?
<+OrangeGlo> DO YOU?
* BrIONwosh sets mode: -v OrangeGlo
Comment: ROFFLE!

#361 * + (41/81) - [X]
<Icarus> Unspun, that's just one more reason I hate women.
* [Taylor] taps icky on the shoulder
<Icarus> Yes Taylor?
<[Taylor]> story time?
<Unspun> LOL
<Icarus> This one is called "Why I hate Women"
<Unspun> XD
<Unspun> You can't do that one though Icarus.
<Icarus> However it is in "I need to leae for work in 45 minutes" mode
<Unspun> I've already done it.
<Icarus> I bet mine's just as goo
<Icarus> d
<[Taylor]> unspun, no talking during icky story time
<Unspun> Pfft.
<Icarus> ^^
<Unspun> =(
<Icarus> Okay, my first girlfriend was an unmedicated bipolar junior high student.
<Icarus> I was a junior high student too and you know how fucked up that is
<Icarus> Everyone out there in the crowd, repeat after me
<Unspun> Aren't you still in Jr High?
<Icarus> "Unmedicated, bipolar, junior high student"
* Unspun was kicked by [Taylor] (damn it, no talking during icky's story time)
<Icarus> Unspun, two demerits for you
* [BRiT] sets mode: +v Unspun
<Icarus> Anyways, I hope that has set in
<Icarus> Unmedicated, bipolar, junior high student
<Icarus> She was so fucking screwy. We dated for two years
* [Taylor] nods
<Icarus> I put up with her shit because I was raised without a fatherfigure by a bitter woman who stereotyped men as being insensitive and only wanting one thing
<Icarus> I thought that the right thing to do was put up with an emotional infant
<Icarus> Anyways, after two years of being patient with her, snorted cocaine, cheated on me, and then slit her wrists
<Icarus> I forgot to mention she was a cutter
<Icarus> Welcome to ninth grade
* [Taylor] nods, and checks off.... "ninth drade bad.....check mark"
<Icarus> Next girl that I was really into, in tenth grade, treated me like shit. We went on a few dates but were never serious
<Icarus> she treated me like a dog
<Icarus> So I moved on
<Icarus> But she was SO hot it blew my mind. About a month ago she called me and was like "What's up? Do you miss me? Are you single?"
<Icarus> And in my mind I was like "BITCH YOU LIVE 4 MILES AWAY FROM ME NOW. TWO YEARS TOO LATE BITCH"
<Icarus> The next girl I was really into was the summer before eleventh grade. I met this chick in Europe, she went to the same school as me and we were on a tour together
<Icarus> We had a whirlwind romance even though she had a man at home. We got back and she dumped him and it was peachy keen
<Icarus> Or so I thought
<Icarus> It turns out that she had a shit ton of issues and she sabotaged our relationship with her sourness and baggage until I couldn't stand to be with her
<Icarus> And RIGHT when I felt like I had to cut her from the team, her ex that I "stole" her from tried to kill both of our families. THANKS CHELSEA!!!!
<Icarus> After that I had a lot of short flings. No big deal. After that I dated this chick who was a model in Japan. After our first date she drunk-dialed me and told me she loved me
<Icarus> I had red flags, she was bitchy and shallow
<Icarus> But I went on more dates with her and on our second or third date, she totalled her car, not wearing her seat belt, and had a concussion and arm injuries.
<Icarus> That night, her mom tried to commit suicide because the insurance had lapsed on her car and there was no way to pay for it
* [Taylor] shakes head
<Icarus> And her mom got locked up in a looney bin
<Icarus> Her dad lived far, far away
<Icarus> and this bitch had nobody to help her or take care of her
<Icarus> So even though she was a colossal super bitch, I spent months upon months carting her ass everywhere and doing everything for this bitch
<Icarus> She treated me worse than anybody I've ever known
<Icarus> One time, we had planned to order a pizza, rent a couple movies, and have some "us time"
<Icarus> I picked her up from school and she was like "I have a headache so I think I'm just going to go home and go to sleep"
<Icarus> So I was like "Okay" and I started to drive her home
<Icarus> And like half way there, the bitch answers her phone and proceeds to tell a male voice what she's wearing, including her underwear
<Icarus> And then she makes plans to go hang out with him later that day
<Icarus> And I pull the car over and I'm like "WHAT THE FUCK"
<Icarus> And she has no idea what she did wrong or why that was mean in any way.
<Icarus> She literally told me she thought I was evil, not because of anything I'd done but just because of my "aura"
<[Taylor]> lol
<Icarus> She threw away clothing of mine that was critical of G. W. Bush because she was republican
<Icarus> Without telling me
<Icarus> She got mad at me for "leading on" and "flirting with" her best friend, of which I did no such thing
<Icarus> And then she tried to set up a three-way with me, her, and that best friend
<Icarus> She was the craziest, bitchiest person ever, there are so many more stories about how fucked up she is
<Icarus> But eventually I just cut her from the team and left her ass on the side of the road (literally)
<[Taylor]> lol
<Icarus> After that I dated an actress, you've probably seen her in a few movies, although I would feel weird telling you her name
<Icarus> She was the only person who wasn't TERRIBLE to me
<jane> vollllderrrrrmoooort
<Icarus> But she couldn't handle our relationship because of baggage from a prior relationship, and she found that out after we had dated for 6 months and tried a very taxing long-distance relationship
<Icarus> Yes Jane, the one I refer to as Voldemort, hahaha
<jane> :) i knoq
<jane> *know
<[Taylor]> omg, some people need to learn how to take a joke.
<Icarus> And so, we broke up. Since then, I have dated girls who have lied to me, been bitches (spent $70 for this bitch to get into somewhere that we hadn't expected to go to, and she didn't say thank you???????)
<[Taylor]> bbiab. See ya ick
<Icarus> Bye Taylor
<jane> bye bye taylor
<Icarus> And I also have dated girls with poor communication
<Icarus> And all this, you see, has led me to the conclusion
<Icarus> That women are terrible monsters and they're all bitches and there is no way to be anything more than friends with them.
<Icarus> And that's Icky Story time for today.

#360 * + (36/71) - [X]
<Unspun> lmao http://forums.wtf.com/showpost.php?p=862825&postcount=8
<Unspun> I love uber.
<DullBulle> Wow he must be flexible
<KB|werk> nah, he's just got REALLY saggy balls.
<KB|werk> Don't ask me how I know that.
<DullBulle> I think I will
<DullBulle> How do you know that?
<KB|werk> Jane told me.
<KB|werk> She's got pictues.
<KB|werk> I tried to get him to PM them to me too...
<KB|werk> no success.
<DullBulle> Anyway...
<[MaX]> Why did you want pics of Uber's balls?
<KB|werk> Ickys
<KB|werk> not ubers
<[MaX]> oh
<V3N> lmao
<[MaX]> fag
<V3N> same diff
<KB|werk> nah. icky's pret

#359 * + (35/72) - [X]
Icarus: "Hey, how have you been?" (in my mind: I fucked you in your grandma's bathroom and sucked on your titties.)
}Slinger{: im too laid back for that
Comment: Hey, how have you been?

#358 * + (44/80) - [X]
<TFO>Darkling I\'m 17
<darkling8>still
<darkling8>that is too young
<TFO>and I would love to see your nipples.
<loms>I\'m 18
<TFO>If it puts your mind at ease, I\'m 24
<TFO>really
<Unspun>ten bucks says I get pics of her tits before you do.
Comment: friggin preeverts

#356 * + (34/65) - [X]
<MehMeh> I\'m watching some weird program about some german guy who hooked up with this other guy and they chopped his penis off and ate it together and then he killed him.
<jane> ew
<jane> thats just DISGUSTING
<MehMeh> And then he watched it back and masturbated to it.
<Musee> WTF
<jane> ewwww
<Unspun> nice meh
<MehMeh> and it was the first time he was turned on in like 5 years.
<Unspun> wow
jane gags
<MehMeh> Wait... they chopped his penis off and then he tried to eat it with the other guy and it was too tough
<MehMeh> so they fried it!
jane gaaaaaaags
<Icarus> I don\'t like it but it tastes like it did when it was new
Comment: icky has REALLY bad timing

#355 * + (34/70) - [X]
<nooob> im bored
<Unspun> why are you bored?
<Unspun> go study ad =P
<Unspun> cad*
<nooob> the only thing i struggle in cad with now is drawing stairs :s
<[MaX]> _
<[MaX]> |_
<[MaX]> |_
<[MaX]> |
<[MaX]>
<[MaX]> owned
<nooob> lmao
<Unspun> lol

#353 * + (36/73) - [X]
* DGz has joined #wtf.com
* [BRiT] sets mode: +o DGz
<TFO> Everybody, shhhhhh. DG is back/
* DG2 has quit IRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<TFO> Okay, we can talk now.
Comment: That was a close one.

#352 * + (39/78) - [X]
<DG2> so that TFO, if you ever get a girl that squirts like you dream about, you will think about me puking
<jane> ineed to do it at some point

#351 * + (36/76) - [X]
[22:12] * HotSauceA sexes dl
[22:12] * iPwned applauds
[22:12] * Darklight has poop sex with HSA
[22:12] <HotSauceA> ummm no
[22:12] <iPwned> kinky
[22:12] <HotSauceA> wait
[22:12] <Darklight> hehe
[22:12] <HotSauceA> hell no
[22:12] <Darklight> that is nasty isnt it
[22:13] <Darklight> even for me
[22:13] <DullBulle> Yeah...
[22:13] <DullBulle> it is...
[22:13] <DullBulle> Unfortunately you can't take it back since this is real time.
[22:13] <DullBulle> So off to wtfqdb it goes
Comment: DL caught in the act.

#350 * + (39/71) - [X]
<@[a|ien]> find her with a thong or something lol
<+Swid> wish I had one

#349 * + (33/68) - [X]
<Icarus> Cause I can freestyle a song in the shower, have it recorded and on the internet in an hour, and if I put effort in and really try, it'll be #1 on iTunes before my hair's dry
<Icarus> Phrosty is kicking the beat box
<Icarus> So you may think I'm one dimensional, but hardly homes, I'm still when you see me, but up to evil schemes like Garden Gnomes
<Icarus> My lyrics are fearless and you need to hear this like classified documents need clearance
<Phrosty> BOOM PSSHT BOOM BOOM PSSHT
<Icarus> Phrosty
<Phrosty> me
<Icarus> Let's kick it in here
<Icarus> Let's reset the cypher session so I can teach hyphy lessons, about how to move forward mic progression
<Phrosty> meh?
<Jude09> Lol
<Icarus> On this mic I'm wreckin, like construction crews, you fuckin knew... Phrosty don't take it personally but I'm fucking Jude
<Phrosty> BOOM PSSHT BOOM BOOM PSSHT
<Jude09> Oh my god.
<Phrosty> wait... what?
* Phrosty kills Icky.
<Jude09> Keep going Icky!
<Icarus> It's all jokes n shit so don't get choked up, kid, she likes me so much that she even quotes me shit
<Icarus> "Keep going Icky!" so I say all right... the same thing I hear from your woman all night
<Jude09> This is amusing
*** Phrosty has left #wtfrap
<Icarus> Oh noes
*** Phrosty has joined #wtfrap
<Jude09> Lol Keep going! Its smexi
* Phrosty barfs
<Icarus> I don't want to get into this and that of tits and ass, so the talk about your faithful chick will get a pass
<Phrosty> ...
<Jude09> It's not cheating if it's Icarus, Phrosty!
<Jude09> It's sharing
<Phrosty> ...
<Icarus> Back to the illness that's hurt populations, like bubonic, ebola, HIV, there's no vaccination
<Phrosty> boom pssht boom booom pssht
<Icarus> (where's my beat box?)
<Icarus> Hahaha there we go
<Phrosty> boom pssht boom boom pssht
<Icarus> I move like a side winder - not the snake, like a 20 mill missile fired from an airplane
<Icarus> A scientest with tendencies of a psychiatrist... my mind control device alters my environment
<Icarus> they tried to recreate me in a lab... but the brain cells condensed to a critical mass
<Icarus> MC for hire with miles of speaker wire, using beakers and vials in statistical trials
<Icarus> I'm three times devious, so odds are? My lyrics, you're gonna hear 'em - According to policies postulated by the central limit theorem
<Icarus> ^^ anybody who has taken stats class knows that fucking punchline was ILL
Comment: #WTFRap - Everyone loves Icky

#348 * + (35/73) - [X]
<MikeHock> Funny erector set story.
<[a|ien]> you mean their are unfunny erector set stories?
<Phrosty> lol
<[a|ien]> erector sets are always fun at jude's house
<MikeHock> When I was like 5 or something I had a giant erector set with like 2& 3 foot long pieces
<Phrosty> ...
<Jude09> Hey I love erect things
<MikeHock> I built an oil rig and was drilling for oil in the back yard
<Icarus> Max, that was your pool boy
<Jude09> and?
<Phrosty> he struck oil
<MikeHock> my mom and grandma were leaving for the store and asked "What are you doing"?
<MikeHock> I responded matter of factly "I'm drilling for oil"
<Phrosty> foul smelling oil
<MikeHock> They both laughts and were like "Aww how cute"
<Phrosty> ...
<Jude09> and ?
<[a|ien]> and this happened...
<[a|ien]> http://www.mod.uk/NR/rdonlyres/75AFA11A-B9C5-420E-98C3-2C97CCBFD1BB/0/RPC_A_toughguy_shawbury.jpg
<[a|ien]> and max retired rich.
<MikeHock> I remember feeling smug and thinking to myself "Hmmph they think I'm playing. They'll be shocked when they return to a guyser!"
<Jude09> and?
<Icarus> It was like the Beverly Hillbillies in reverse, Max got rich, and moved from NY to the appalachians
<MikeHock> I was totally convinced that I'd hit oil
<Jude09> I'm not sure that was a funny story ...
Comment: The fuck?

#347 * + (36/66) - [X]
|Slacker|: "To the Guy Who Stuck His Penis in My Face..."
MehMeh: That game is annoying
MehMeh: ANNOYING
|Slacker|: What game?
MehMeh: your game
|Slacker|: I got to level 19 and got bored. :/
|Slacker|: Want the code?
|Slacker|: lol
mrbeefy: So, you knew whose penis was in your face for 18 levels?
MehMeh: no I suck at it. :(
|Slacker|: How far did ya get?
Icarus: Beefy, you don\'t need the control condoms because you\'re not a minute man
Icarus: You need regular ones
MehMeh: lol the second level, slack
Comment: To the Guy Who Stuck His Penis in My Face

#346 * + (36/66) - [X]
<Spikey> Can you post in the farm when you're Double Caged?
<|AC|> no
<Spikey> What's the difference?
<|AC|> you cant post anything
<|AC|> at all
<|AC|> i dont think you can view pms either
<Spikey> Then why don't they just bone you.
<Spikey> I mean ban.
Comment: I wonder what Spikey was thinking of.

#345 * + (33/62) - [X]
<Jude09> How long have you and CL been together?
<DG2> omg
<DG2> like six years too long
<DG2> lol
<DG2> he's a good man
<DG2> thinks I'm a genious
<DG2> so what more can I ask for
<Jude09> a genius?
<Jude09> ...
Comment: I'm sorry DG, it was too good.

#344 * + (44/73) - [X]
<unspun> Hey Lynn did you know pinkeye was caused by fecal matter getting into the eye?
<unspun> Stop having anal secks >=P
<AdrenaLyn> Im seriously having the worst time trying to to scratch my eye
<AdrenaLyn> its so itchy :(
<unspun> All I see is fat men covered in shit.. I have the worst imagination ever.
<AdrenaLyn> yeah Im having flashbacks to swap.avi
<AdrenaLyn> I have to return the old navy pants!
<AdrenaLyn> Id never get the 40 buck sback
<AdrenaLyn> so Im gonna return em and get pants that fit
<AdrenaLyn> and dont create a penis pouch in the front
<DG2> but, where will you put your cock?
<AdrenaLyn> ......in my backside.
<AdrenaLyn> where it always goes

#341 * + (33/65) - [X]
<+}Slinger{> (Listening to Runaway Train) Windows ME: Missing Since 2000
<@BrIONwosh> Windows ME was horrid
<@[Jung]> ME was an abortion
<@[BRiT]> ME was so terrible
<+}Slinger{> ME was a byproduct of chernobyl
<+}Slinger{> but frankly all of YOU are failures as well

#339 * + (31/58) - [X]
<[Chad]> Jude
<[Chad]> you have perfect boobs.
<[Chad]> Like medical book boobs.
<Jude09> lol
<Jude09> medical book boobs?
<FireAngel> Wow, so the wrong time for me to open this window again.
<Musee> More like the perfect porno tits.
<Musee> Fuck.
<Jude09> Chad and I were sharing images
<Jude09> of good vs. bad
Comment: I just wanted proof that someone likes my boobies

#338 * + (31/63) - [X]
* MikeHock thumps against silverphail's forehead while he chokes on balls.
<Yesrod> yeah me too

#337 * + (36/71) - [X]
<<Icarus on his 'dream woman'>>
<Icarus> I forgot a critical part of this
<Icarus> She gives me an allowance
<mrbeefy> ???
<mrbeefy> Your mom?
<Icarus> No, my dream woman
<}Slinger{> lolz.
<}Slinger{> your mom is ur dream woman?
Comment: Oedipus complex?

#336 * + (29/60) - [X]
<mrbeefy> I'm sorry, but I don't like eating hairy things
<MikeHock> You don't eat it, you you just hold it in your mouth for a while
<mrbeefy> And llet the hairiness dance around on my tongue?
<mrbeefy> :o
<MikeHock> ^ Looks like that when you do it

#334 * + (33/62) - [X]
<[BRiT]> Uh huh, this my shit
<[BRiT]> All the girls stomp your feet like this
<[BRiT]> A few times I\'ve been around that track
<[BRiT]> So it\'s not just gonna happen like that
<[BRiT]> \'Cause I ain\'t no hollaback girl
<[BRiT]> I ain\'t no hollaback girl
Comment: BRiT's impersonation of Gwen

#333 * + (34/70) - [X]
* TFO has quit IRC (Quit: kthxbai!)
<Darklight> that was a quote from simpsons
<[HOSTILE]> We ran the black guy off.
<Draygoon> I caught it
Comment: I mean the Simpsons quote, not the black guy..... --Dray

#331 * + (32/68) - [X]
<unspun> I got sex today
<unspun> very good sex actually
<unspun> he tied me up ^.^
<mrbeefy> Cool
<|Chad|> I just remembered a password!

#330 * + (35/77) - [X]
<mrbeefy> He said | <Bal> do me a favor and type /part luckl
<Bal> yah that^
<Bal> thanks
<mrbeefy> It makes all the letters look rainbow like
<luckl> what does /part do?
<Bal> mrbeefy It makes all the letters look rainbow like
<mrbeefy> Psychadellic
<mrbeefy> See?
<luckl> woah
<luckl> freaky
<Bal> do it
<mrbeefy> Try it... type /part lucki and then the message that you want
<luckl> hells yeah!
* luckl has left #wtf.com (luckl)
Comment: OWNED TEH NOOBAGE!

#329 * + (35/64) - [X]
/join #StonedWTFers.
<trav> You could be the magical mysterious Mike of magical mojo monkey maheym.
<trav> and mary jane
<Jingles> No man, I could the magical mysterious Mike of magical marijuana mojo mayhem.
<trav> and mary jane.
<Jingles> Dude, that's so redundant. That belongs in the Home Office Department of Redundancy.
<trav> What?
<Jingles> I said, that's so redundant. That belongs in the Home Office Department of Redundancy.
<trav> ...hahaha.
<Jude09> Hey that sounds kind of redundant.
<Jingles> Fuck. You got me.
<Tai> hahaha
Comment: Ooooh yeeaaahhh.

#328 * + (37/69) - [X]
<iTrout> oh no you diint
<Bal> bring it on sister
iTrout slaps Bal around a bit with a large trout
iTrout wins
Bal loses
Comment: owned

#327 * + (38/77) - [X]
[17:19] * Darklight has joined #wtf.com
[17:20] <Darklight> my e-penis is bigger then your e-penis
[17:29] * Darklight has quit IRC (Quit: kthxbai!)
[17:49] <OrangeGlo> His e-penis just anal raped him outta chat.
Comment: BEHOLD THE PHALLUS!

#326 * + (29/69) - [X]
<unspun> WHO THE FUCK ARE ALL OF THESE GUESTS
<Guest_493> no really thoe
* unspun smacks you all.
<Guest_493> Bal
* Audi5000 is now known as mrbeefy
<mrbeefy> Better?
<Guest_218> Bal
* iSore2000 hugs unspun
* mrbeefy is confuzzled that unspun brings news of unexplained doom, but hugs her too
* Guest_493 is now known as Bal
* Guest_218 was kicked by [BRiT] (Caps abuse - 0%)
Comment: OWNED!

#324 * + (31/59) - [X]
* Darklight group sexes legolas with honey
<iPwned> pics?
<Darklight> reminds me.. hang on
Comment: lolgolas

#323 * + (27/64) - [X]
<OrangeGlo> what a lively chat.
<|AC|> your moms lively
<|AC|> in bed
<OrangeGlo> Your moms a lively chatter in bed. I have to stick a gag in her mouth so I dont go limp.
<|AC|> you totally just stole my come back and expanded a little on it
<|AC|> FAG
<OrangeGlo> No, I said she talked a lot. You took my comment and expanded on that. Arizonian Cocksucker.

#322 * + (37/65) - [X]
<iPwned> OMG I'M EDITING MY PROFILE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 3 YEARS LOLZ!
<OrangeGlo> NO UNFA
<OrangeGlo> THE WORLD MAY EXPLODE
<iPwned> THAT WOULD BE COOL!
<iPwned> NOW STOP BEFORE YOU GET KICKED FOR CAPS ABUSE!
* iPwned was kicked by [BRiT] (Caps abuse - 100%)
Comment: Oh the irony.

#320 * + (33/65) - [X]
<[HOSTILE]> Hey, how the FUCK does the thread entitled "way of the christian" find its way into "issues"?
<Jiraffe> Way of the Christian? Is that like a game from the makers of Way of the Samurai?
<Jiraffe> I want to cut people with Bible pages!
<[HOSTILE]> When I get older and I become a mod, I'm gonna be a racist too.
<[HOSTILE]> And post n00dz.
<[HOSTILE]> of me.
<[HOSTILE]> with my weiner tucked.
<[HOSTILE]> wait, can I do that?
<[HOSTILE]> It's not nudity.
<Relorian> I think you might be able to
<Relorian> its not showing your privates
<[HOSTILE]> Anyone else?
<Relorian> just your "Camel toe"
<Jiraffe> I told Mugu to type something intresting or shut the fuck up until I come to her pic.
<[HOSTILE]> I am totally gonna do the Silence of the lambs.
Comment: LOL Aspirations.

#319 * + (51/85) - [X]
<Icarus> WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE
<Yesrod> ^ghey
<Icarus> A YELLOW SUBMARINE
*** Icarus has been kicked by [BRiT] (Caps abuse - 100%)
*** Icarus has joined #wtf.com
*** MaxPower sets mode +v on Icarus
<Icarus> A YELLOW SUBMARINE
*** [BRiT] sets mode +v on Icarus
*** [BRiT] sets mode +b on *!*Minerva5@69.106.59.134
*** Icarus has been kicked by [BRiT] (Caps abuse - 100%)
<Draygoon> XD
*** MaxP0wer sets mode -b on *!*Minerva5@69.106.59.134
*** [BRiT] sets mode +b on *!*Minerva5@69.106.59.134
*** [BRiT] sets mode -b on *!*Minerva5@69.106.59.134
*** Icarus has joined #wtf.com
*** MaxPower sets mode +v on Icarus
*** [BRiT] sets mode +v on Icarus
<Icarus> A YELLOW SUBMARINE
*** [BRiT] sets mode +b on *!*Minerva5@69.106.59.*
*** Icarus has been kicked by [BRiT] (Caps abuse - 100%)
<Yesrod> welcome back ya beach boy
<that_guy> Weelcome shit Yesrod, he got booted before you could say hello.
<[BRiT]> rofl -- [02:51]  [#wtf.com] Punishing Icarus (~Minerva5@69.106.59.134) Caps abuse - 100% - Offense 4 (bk)
<MaxP0wer> I hope he doesn't think I'm going to lift it again
<[BRiT]> wow, he hit level 4
<[BRiT]>  [#wtf.com] Punishing Icarus (~Minerva5@69.106.59.134) Caps abuse - 100% - Offense 3 (tempban)
<[BRiT]> offense 3 is just a 2 minute tempban
<[BRiT]> i think he's the first to hit level 4
<Draygoon> What's 4?
<Yesrod> harsh
Comment: WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE

#318 * + (33/59) - [X]
<Noobie> !weather twin towers
<A_Pirate> Invalid location. Please try another location.
<Noobie> ;_;
Comment: T_T

#316 * + (36/73) - [X]
<Icarus> Caitmonst took her pictures out of the member photos thread
<Caitmonst> i got super self conscious and took them off.
<|AC|> you looked fat
<Caitmonst> asshole.
* Caitmonst Quit (Quit: kthxbai!)

#315 * + (28/60) - [X]
<Caitmonst> LOLOLOL
* Caitmonst CANT STOP LAUGHING
* Caitmonst IS PRETTY DRUNK NOW.
* Caitmonst was kicked by [BRiT] (Caps abuse - 100%)
<[MaX]> heehee
<Rel|DJin> alas poor cait we hardly knew her
<[MaX]> fogot about that script
<Rel|DJin> now did i get the chance to get her noodz
<Rel|DJin> *nor
* Caitmonst (~Caitmonst@051.109-113-64.ftth.swbr.surewest.net) has joined #wtf.com
* [BRiT] sets mode: +v Caitmonst
* Caitmonst FORGOT ABOUT CAPS
* [BRiT] sets mode: +b *!*Caitmonst@051.109-113-64.ftth.swbr.surewest.net
* Caitmonst was kicked by [BRiT] (Caps abuse - 100%)
<Rel|DJin> HAHAHAH
<[MaX]> hahahahaha

#314 * + (42/77) - [X]
<Icarus> Press 696969696969 if u want to cyber
<[Awaken]> 6969696969969696969696969
<hoTTgUy77> 6969696969
<Jing|es> 69696969696
<[Awaken]> 69696969969696
<|AC|> 696969696969
<[Awaken]> 6969696969696
<Draygoon> 696969696696969696
<Icarus> Pm me
<[Awaken]> 6966969696969696969
* hoTTgUy77 is now known as CuTiEGuRl
<CuTiEGuRl> OMG
<|Spikey|> liek omg sex change
<Icarus> u r all fags
<CuTiEGuRl> 14/f/wherever you want it
<Icarus> The butt?
* CuTiEGuRl is now known as TheCody
<Icarus> OMFG I BELIEVED YOU
* Icarus puts his dick away
<TheCody> 6969696
* TheCody puts his... whatever the fuck it is away

#313 * + (38/78) - [X]
<Jiraffe> I want a....uh...tricycle. Yeah a TRICYCLE!
<BrIONwosh> My zeppelin will pwn your tricycle
<BrIONwosh> you can flee the crime scene on a tricycle and I'll take the zeppelin
<BrIONwosh> we shall see who the victor is.
<Jiraffe> Wait a minute! If he's the conducter then he can start the band!
* Jiraffe roffles
<BrIONwosh> ...
<Jiraffe> I want socks in a can!
<Awaken> i socked your mom in the can
<Jiraffe> Socks in a can make great wedding gifts.
Comment: This gets an entry for being an IRC Acid Trip

#312 * + (39/70) - [X]
<[Taylor]> people are strange
<[Taylor]> that's all I have to say
<[Taylor]> icky, explain to me why people are strange
<Icarus> Well, see, when your first sight is a giant bloody vagina, it kinda fucks with your head
<Musee> JLXC practically has bigger tits than I do.
<[Taylor]> Musee: It's alright JLXC is a freak of nature
<[Taylor]> same with Tostig
<Icarus> I'm a sexy freak of nature
<Icarus> Or perhaps
<Icarus> A freak of sexy
<[Taylor]> I'm a freak of vagina
<[Taylor]> my face looks like a wet fuckhole, rolled in flour
<Icarus> I'm a freak for vagina

#311 * + (32/58) - [X]
* Jiraffe is now known as Sadraffe
<Icarus> Why Sadraffe?
<Sadraffe> Because my ex is a bitch but she's also right.
* [BRiT] sets mode: -b *!*Randyday1@h237.102.140.67.ip.alltel.net
<Icarus> Have you tried cunt punching her?
<Sadraffe> No.
<Icarus> Well there's your problem!
<Sadraffe> No. My problem is I need to prove her wrong but can't. :/
<Icarus> Have you tried cunt punching her?
<Sadraffe> No I haven't tried Ica.
Comment: Cunt Punch!

#310 * + (32/70) - [X]
* Guest_093 (~Guest_093@adsl-3-161-147.mia.bellsouth.net) has joined #wtf.com
* [MaX] humps Guest_093 in the eye socket.
* Guest_093 (~Guest_093@adsl-3-161-147.mia.bellsouth.net) Quit (Client Quit)
<[MaX]> lawl

#309 * + (29/69) - [X]
<OrangeGlo> Sweet, my rep broke 500 :D
<UberFuck> no shit? I didn't even notice
<[a|ien]> that's what we look for in a staff member :)
<UberFuck> drunk ineptitude?

#308 * + (36/63) - [X]
<BadEvilWr> Being on WTF fo an extended period of time leaves one questioning the other's sanity.
<UberFuck> and their intelligence
<[a|ien]> You should be more offended by the fact that the site as it is NOW is still open. :)
<[a|ien]> What's even creepier, is we actually have a significant amount of really brilliant people on the site.
<[a|ien]> They just smell bad, and live with their mother. ;)

#307 * + (40/64) - [X]
(22:23:26) (+|ChrisH|) Smelly dyke
�� join: (mdotpandi) (~mdotpandi@75-163-188-20.clsp.qwest.net)
�� mode: ([BRiT]) sets mode (+v mdotpandi)
(22:23:45) (@[BRiT]) speaking of which
(22:23:48) (@[BRiT]) hellow MDOTPANDI!
Comment: Lawl.

#306 * + (44/73) - [X]
<ChrisH> OMG LOOK I\'M USING CAPS
<ChrisH> OBVIOUSLY IM SHOUTING AT YOU IN A LIBRARY
* OrangeGlo gets librarian
<OrangeGlo> LOL BANNED
Comment: Pwnt.

#305 * + (39/66) - [X]
<OrangeGlo> What should I be when I grow up?
<[BRiT]> dead

#303 * + (37/66) - [X]
� +unspun smacks icarus with jesse's dirty dildo
(+Icarus) That takes me back to second grade.
Comment: I clean my dildo every night, kthx.

#302 * + (35/72) - [X]
<mdotpandi> what are you listenign to
<BadEvilWr> I'm actually hammering the random button until I find a song on this one playlist that I feel like listening to.
<BadEvilWr> You?
<mdotpandi> massive attack
<mdotpandi> whats playing now?
<BadEvilWr> Marc Antony- I Need to Know
<mdotpandi> teehee
<BadEvilWr> One of my guilty pleasures.
<mdotpandi> aye, i have quite a few of those
<mdotpandi> nothing quite as ghey, however
Comment: ...

#301 * + (33/62) - [X]
<mentor> !weather Intercourse
<PirateBob> Location: New Holland, Pennsylvania Updated: 1:23 AM EDT on August 25, 2007 Temp: 74.0 �F Wind Chill: N/A �F Dew Point: 74 �F Humidity: 100% Pressure: 29.94 in. Conditions: Fog Wind: 4.0mph Visibility: 0.5 miles
<[BRiT]> warm and humid in intercourse

#300 * + (42/72) - [X]
<Jing|es> there was something really disturbing about this oreo commercial that just came on
<Jing|es> an old man is sitting across from a little boy
<mrbeefy> Whazat?
<Jing|es> they're both all staring at each other
<Jing|es> licking the frosting off the oreo
<Jing|es> so obviously, after the old man dunked his oreo
<mrbeefy> :o
<Jing|es> he was gonna dunk his junk in that little boy
<mrbeefy> Hahahaha
<mrbeefy> And the little boy just looked upon the old man with love in his eyes
<mrbeefy> We're going back to Roman days I see
<Jing|es> i promise, it wasn't a milk moustache that little boy had
<mrbeefy> Heh
<Jing|es> lol double stuffed.
<mrbeefy> Ewwwwwwww!
<mrbeefy> Wouldn't that be called a threesome?
<Jing|es> maybe the old man had enough spunk left for another go
<mrbeefy> Wow
<Jing|es> Yeah.
<Jing|es> So uh...how's the weather there?

#299 * + (35/63) - [X]
<+mrbeefy> Damn, my roomie is still asleep and it's 1:30pm here
<+mrbeefy> What a lazy fuck!
<@Tostig> put his hand in warm water
<+Jiraffe> Wrap your smelly socks around his face
<+Jiraffe> Chill a bottle of urine for him
<+Jiraffe> Shit on him.
<+Jiraffe> Stick your penis in his ear.
<+mrbeefy> Nah, I just farted in his face and woke him, lawlz!
<@Tostig> pull a cartman
<+mrbeefy> ??
<@Tostig> put his penis in your mouth and take a picture to shame him
<+mrbeefy> HAHAHAHA!
<+Jiraffe> hahahaha
<+mrbeefy> Brb
Comment: gay happens

#298 * + (32/64) - [X]
<@Tostig> how come none of my submissions for wtfqdb ever get approved? :P
<@[MaX]> they do
<@{Taylor}> because ou fail at the internets
<@[MaX]> don't they?
<@Tostig> i hate failing :P
<+BadEvilWr> My latest one wasn't approved. Ah well.
<+BadEvilWr> First time failure for me!
<@[MaX]> it has to be just plain not funny or interesting in the least not to be approved.
<@[MaX]> It's probably n00b's fault, he's an approval Nazi
<+BadEvilWr> He was the one that told me I should submit it. Heh.
<@[MaX]> <BadEvilWr> He was the one that told me I should submit it. Heh. :: He does that to everyone. He loves to build you up, just to smash your dreams on the jagged rocks of dispaire
Comment: WTFQDB Approval Nazis

#297 * + (38/65) - [X]
<Meeper> Are we there yet?
<Tostigv3> no
<Tostigv3> meeper, wake up, we're at grandma's
* Tostigv3 drops meeper off and drives away crying "FREEDOM!"
Comment: late night drives suck

#296 * + (39/63) - [X]
* axefinal has joined #wtf.com
* [SKiD] sets mode: +v axefinal
<axefinal> thank you
<axefinal> what is the speed of stupid
<[HOSTILE]> how long did it take you to log in?
<axefinal> huh
<Musee> ...
<noobie> exactly

#295 * + (32/69) - [X]
<jane> :O
<jane> fack
<jane> i have to remake my bed
<jane> i forgot to put my mattress pad on
<[MaX]> Wow, when Jane has that time of the month, she don't mess around!
<Musee> Haha.
<jane> lol
<jane> jerks
<jane> i'm not raggin anymore! :p
<Tostig> then why you hollerin?
<jane> cause i'm hot and crabby? :p
<[MaX]>LOL STD's
Comment: .

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