WTFQDB: #wtf.com IRC Quote Database

#4558 * + (8/15) - [X]
<DullBulle> my ass is already being stomped, so to speak
<lcarus> Fuck yeah bitch
<DullBulle> I also don't have a girlfriend :(
Comment: PRAWNED

#4551 * + (30/57) - [X]
<+Icarus> I only wish my girlfriend was a 200 pound dude
<+Icarus> She can\'t really massage me hard enough
Comment: <|Danni|>

#1419 * + (41/72) - [X]
<V3N> SHEP!!!
<shep> yo
<V3N> sup?
<shep> nm
<V3N> same
<shep> who dis be?
<Lynny> really
<V3N> V3N
<Lynny> Im from deer park
<shep> ok
<V3N> ;)
<Lynny> thats sooo weird
<V3N> down for sex?
<shep> been awile dude,memory is bad
<shep> sure
<V3N> sweet
<shep> bend over
<Lynny> so I bet I could totally get my bf to buy beer and I could bring a squirrel and we couopld play :)
<V3N> already bent
<shep> lol
<Boot2theh> ?
Comment: ?

#1143 * + (43/80) - [X]
<+kich> you guys fucking suck.
<+kich> it snowed today.
<@[BRiT]> kich, wtf did you expect, you live right there where you can see Russia
<@[BRiT]> of course its going to snow
Comment: On climate, foreign experience, and Palin failures...

#1122 * + (38/80) - [X]
[01:15:23] <+DullBulle> are you drunk hq
[01:15:27] <+HrlyQnn> it's never good to wake up with something in your mouth you didn't put in there
[01:15:35] <+DullBulle> Good answer

#1109 * + (34/75) - [X]
<MOGUERA> MOGUERA!!
<MOGUERA> *cough*
*** Jiraffe has quit (Quit: kthxbai!)
<MOGUERA> \'Raffe can\'t withsatnd my robotness. lol.
<Darklight> ...
<Darklight> I figured it was just monster explosive diareahh from eating bad mexican beans
<MOGUERA> I don\'t get that, for I ARE TEH ROBOT!!
<Darklight> ummm
<MOGUERA> Also, you spelled diarrhea\" wrong.
<Darklight> spelling is not a requirement of anger
<MOGUERA> Anger? about what?
<Darklight> does a person need a reason to be angry?
<Darklight> maybe being angry makes me happy
<Darklight> :D
<MOGUERA> YAY!
<MOGUERA> Large Hadron Colliders make MOGUERA happy.
<MOGUERA> :P
<Darklight> cause its like a super magnetic robot cock ring?
<MOGUERA> Or a nice headband.
<MOGUERA> Or tail accessory
<MOGUERA> Or vagina substitute
<Darklight> what better way to turn on the chicks then creating a minature black hole in the absolute destruction of matter between the crotches
<MOGUERA> ^^
<Darklight> its like sex with the primordial force of the universe
<Darklight> now im horney for the LHC

#1108 * + (40/75) - [X]
<Swah> ...silence...
<MOGUERA> is bronze
<Swah> I thought is was gold...
<MOGUERA> Well, it got downgraded.
<Swah> meuh.. :(
<MOGUERA> Besides, now that it's bronze it can be made into weapons.
<Swah> hm...
* MOGUERA slashes Swah with a Silence longsword
* Swah didn't hear that one coming...
Comment: <MOGUERA> lol

#863 * + (37/68) - [X]
<[BRiT]> btw: lyn's ass crashed my PC...
<Lyn> brit....really?
<[BRiT]> yeah, BSOD and everything... i dont think it could take the hotness
<Lyn> I think this goes to prove that your computer wasnt ready for mah jelly
Comment: That jelly is NSFW

#695 * + (46/81) - [X]
<Jingles> so we're about to have rat sex
<Jingles> not tai
<Jingles> but me and the rat
<Jingles> it's already hawt in her
<Jingles> lol
<Icarus> Continue
<Jingles> this little one is cute though
<Jingles> she's older
<Jingles> used to be a classroom pet
<Jingles> but she doesn't know how to bite anyone
<Jingles> she's quite sweet actually
Comment: Jingles explains the benefits of rat sex.

#647 * + (39/78) - [X]
[19:49] <[_]Max[_]> I have a box of freshly baked fudge brownies from ASDA that I\'m going to wipe out with a glass of milk.
[19:51] <Lyn> you suck
[19:51] <Lyn> I have....
[19:51] <Lyn> a peanut butter and raspberry jam sandwich on nasty low carb bread
[19:53] <[_]Max[_]> I\'d type something sympathetic, but my fingers are covered in sticky fudge brownie.
[19:53] <Lyn> Im sure there is a special place in hell reserved for you

#604 * + (50/82) - [X]
<[_]Max[_]> Weeeee. I'm drinking 7.4% beer and eating jello shots tonight!
<Wiz|AFK> 7.4 pretty fancy
<[_]Max[_]> http://www.brakspear-beers.co.uk/brakspear2006_packaged.htm#triple
<Wiz|AFK> that's how I choose wine
<Wiz|AFK> look for 13+
<Wiz|AFK> 14 is the winner if available
<[_]Max[_]> I thought that was how you chose your women.
<Wiz|AFK> touche

#397 * + (35/71) - [X]
<DullBulle> http://xkcd.com/303/
<DullBulle> I need to buy the T-shirt of that one
<DullBulle> I also need to buy those switch and button labels for unlabeled buttons
<DullBulle> Because being able to put "EJECT" on the A/C button is just awesome
<|BRiT|> lol

#396 * + (41/76) - [X]
<LawnGirl> NOTHING
<LawnGirl> sorry
<LawnGirl> capps
<Swah> haha
<Swah> n00b :P
<LawnGirl> what noob where?
*** KBz has joined #wtf.com

#394 * + (45/81) - [X]
@Tostig lays on spun and goes to sleep
+Spunny sleeps too
@Alyth snores really loudly making it impossible for everyone to sleep ;)
+KBz stuffs a sock in Alyths mouth
@Alyth chokes and suffocates
<+KBz> ahhh, teh power of silence
+KBz sleeps
Comment: Shhhhh....

#393 * + (35/75) - [X]
<Randoman> I wish your imaginary girlfriend would get off of me.
<Spunny> why the fuck would I have an imaginary girlfriend? I hate women
<Randoman> Oooh, a little bit'o "honey" in ya?
<Randoman> Let me reiterate
<Randoman> Are you a homosexual?
<spunafk> no I'm a fucking girl
<spunafk> lmao
<Randoman> Ah.
<Randoman> okay.
<Randoman> nvm then
* Randoman (Ranter@AC865FAA.ipt.aol.com) Quit (Quit: kthxbai!)
<[_MaX_]> Randoman, cruising for a date again?

#391 * + (39/77) - [X]
<+Dradio> I couldn't find "chest hair" in the Uniform Code.
<+Dradio> What would that look like? "...all chest hair must be at least 1/4 in below the neckline of all pt/bdu/acu t-shirts..."
<@Tostig> maybe because it's not supposed to be there
<@Tostig> how else would you get a good seal on your gas parka?
+Dradio> If you're putting your MOPP gear on your chest: A.) You're doing something very, very wrong. B.) You are too stupid to live.
[01:40] <+Icarus> C.) There's hella poison

#390 * + (37/71) - [X]
<V3N> just stick your nuts in the microwave for about 5 minutes
<MehMeh> Well you really shouldn't.
<Wizardly> on the other you have a potential unprotected 3-some with 2 lesbians
<Alyth> to me that would be too young to really allow that responsibility.
Comment: Alyth, the voice of reason.

#389 * + (40/74) - [X]
<Icarus> I photographed a retirement party for this old lady my mom worked with
<Icarus> I agreed to do it when I was high, i think, and I have no idea why
<Icarus> It sucked
<Icarus> Some lady who was hot for a 50 year old came on to me though
<Icarus> I was tempted in a not-tempted sort of way
<Icarus> Especially because she works with my mom
<Jingles> Does she make good money?
<Icarus> I dunno
<Jingles> TAP THAT SHIT YO
<[_]Max[_]> Make dry gray love to her!
<Icarus> Hahaha
<Icarus> She's not gray (hair dye, I'm sure)
<Icarus> Okay, reboot, brb
<[_]Max[_]> maybe she'll bake you cookies after
<Jingles> ooooh that would be tits
<Jingles> Tai doesn't even bake me cookies
<[_]Max[_]> <Icarus> She's not gray (hair dye, I'm sure) :: Theres tar on the roof but snow on the lawn.
<BrION> perhaps she has cookies for tits
<Jingles> ??
<[_]Max[_]> "Come to mama my little cookie monster"

#388 * + (36/73) - [X]
[20:58] <|DG|> logic is based on math
[20:58] <|DG|> math came before logic
Comment: oookay. <3 DG.

#386 * + (39/67) - [X]
<Landshark> did you play "just the tip" with that carrot
<|CL|> landshark has experience
<Landshark> it is a fun game
<|CL|> and then?
<Landshark> hide the pickle
<|CL|> landshark, you shouldn't announce that..there might be some takers
<V3N> I'm already sending him a pm

#385 * + (31/65) - [X]
Not an IRC Quote. But a classic post from Descent on wtf.com:

I officially have won at the Internets better than all of you.
Yesterday, I wanted some Mongolian porn. I've seen all the wimmenz of Asia but Mongol chicks. And damn, I love Asians.

I was shocked to find that it was non-existant.

But...After 10 minutes of surfing, AllTheWeb's image search pointed me to TWO INSTANCES OF MONGOL PORN .

They're just like Chinese chicks, but with better hair.

Mongolian > Chinese

Also, I GoogleWhacked successfully .

GOOGLE: urinator freespace

I own all of you.

Seriously, I don't see what's odd about Mongolian porn.

It's Asian, the nationality just has a barbaric sound to it. Big deal.

That doesn't mean the people are barbaric.

So now, I guess it's strange to have an Asian fetish .

Beastiality is hardly a rare occurance. It's funny shit, especially when the girl is doing a horse or an eel.

I don't know, just seeing a chick with a horse's dick in her bum makes me laugh to the point where I almost cry.
Descent is a veteran, son. Thick and thin, noobs and queers, Descent has stuck around. Don't expect a 1-up on this one, you don't have the pull, kid. So show some respect, grasshopper. Descent is a Raging Ranter of the highest caliber. Very few can even imagine the levels of rant that Descent conquers without even getting out of bed. A ranting phenomenon worthy of the gods, when it comes to ranting there are few who can handle Descent's wrath. So beware this badge of honor, for Descent is not one with whom to fuck.
Comment: .

#384 * + (37/64) - [X]
*** Musee has quit
* Swah gets another beer
<Dradio> We have been disamused....
Comment: talk about timing...

#383 * + (34/71) - [X]
<Rook> Icarus cut the crap
<Rook> Cut the CRAP.
<Rook> SON.
<Wizardly> can't be done if it's diarhea
<BrIONfood> You should make a diet plan with that motto.
<BrIONfood> "Cut the crap... OUTTA YOUR DIET!"
<Icarus> Or
<Icarus> For a lobotomy plan.
<Icarus> "Cut the crap... OUTTA YOUR BRAIN!"
<Rook> What?
<BrIONfood> ^satisfied customer
<Rook> ^ gay
<Rook> v gay
<Wizardly> I'll gay you
<Icarus> ------ mirror
<Wizardly> bitch
<Icarus> Damnit
<Icarus> I had the perfect retort
<Icarus> Rook, try it again
<Rook> ^ gay
<Rook> owned
<Rook> stfu
<Icarus> ---------- mirror
<Icarus> STUF
<Rook> ^ cool
<Rook> FUCK
<Icarus> Thx
<Icarus> FAGGOT
<Rook> ^
<Icarus> Yes, I am glad you agree
<Rook> I'm going to make an untouchable shield
<Icarus> ^
<Rook> ^ gay
<Rook> <-- straight
<Icarus> STOP BEING SO QUEER
<Rook> v gay
<Rook> OWNED
<Icarus> Hahahaha
<Icarus> You did just own yourself
<Rook> hmm
<Rook> how can I build the perfect defense
<Rook> -------
<Rook> honestly, the best way is to just mirror at the end of every line
<Rook> -------
<Icarus> ^ awesome
<Icarus> See, it's not all gravy.
<Rook> ^ awesomely gay
<Rook> -------
<Rook> ^ cool
<Rook> v gay
<Icarus> ------
<Icarus> ^awesome
<Icarus> -------
<Rook> -----[] hammer
* Icarus is impenetrable.
<Rook> ^ gay
<Rook> i broke your mirror and threw a gay in
<Rook> ----
<Icarus> omfg, stop innovating
<Rook> ^ gay
<Rook> ---
<Icarus> [][][][][][] brick wall
<Icarus> ^awesome guy
<Icarus> [][][][][][][]
<Rook> /\
<Rook> []
<Rook> []
<Rook> []
<Rook> []
<Rook> []
* |BRiT| has kicked Rook from #wtf.com (Repeating - 4 times)
<zoloftcas> haha
<Icarus> VICTORY IS MINE
* Rook (~Rook@adsl-3-130-136.mia.bellsouth.net) has joined #wtf.com
<Rook> that was a drill
<Rook> v gay
<BrIONfood> that was a shitty drill
<Wizardly> gay >>> / |mirror
<Wizardly> mirro#2/ |#1
<Wizardly> \
<Wizardly> \ mirror # 3
<Wizardly> downward | | \
<Rook> v gay
<Wizardly> tube | |
<Wizardly> | |
<Rook> i hit your #2 mirror
<Rook> which bounced it back up to brion
<Rook> --------
<Rook> and there's no brick walls, icarus
<Rook> that's unfair
<Rook> and stupid
<Rook> faggot
* |BRiT| sets ban on *!*Rook@*.mia.bellsouth.net
* |BRiT| has kicked Rook from #wtf.com (...)
<Icarus> Dude, you guys are just getting gay.
<Wizardly> wtf, are we using white magic or black magic rules?
<BrIONfood> Wiz uses blueballs magic
<BrIONfood> fag
Comment: <Wizardly> please include this line <<<<<

#382 * + (40/72) - [X]
<BrION> where did you get fired from?
<BrION> The 7-11?
<Guest_216> the day earlier i did take off but i clearly stated i wasn't gonna be there.
<Guest_216> and,
<Guest_216> in fact its a major company
<Guest_216> BITE ME!
<BrION> no
<BrION> if it's a 'major company' and you didn't show up to work
<BrION> you got shit canned
<BrION> because you were expendable
<Guest_216> I CLEARLY STATED I WAS TAKING OFF THAT DAY!
<BrION> did you have vacation days?
<Guest_216> yes.
<BrION> were you a full time employee?
<Guest_216> yes.
<BrION> 40 hours a week with benefits
<Guest_216> yes!!!!
<BrION> I smell lies.
<Guest_216> i smell your ass.
<BrION> that would've gotten you fired too
<BrION> running aruond the job sniffing asses
<Guest_216> OH PISS OFF!
* Guest_216 (~Guest_216@cpe-24-93-173-168.neo.res.rr.com) Quit (Quit: kthxbai!)

#380 * + (36/65) - [X]
<morphineD> eh. my computers being a fag.
<Draygoon> A what?
<morphineD> um. faggot. fag. anal cannal seeker?
* morphineD was kicked by [BRiT] (...)
<Draygoon> Pwnt
<BrION> Nice dray
<BrION> NICE
Comment: A rare display of Dray being an asshole.

#379 * + (38/73) - [X]
<KBz> max
<KBz> that's not the same chick.
<[MaX]> Shush!
<KBz> lol
<KBz> zipped
<[MaX]> don't you dare tip anyone off
<[MaX]> I want to snag someone in not noticing her face
<[MaX]> ;)
<KBz> it's pretty obvious.
<[MaX]> SHHHHH!
<[MaX]> Nothing is obvious!
<[MaX]> The cake is a lie!
<KBz> lol indeed.
<KBz> but you don't have to notice the face
<KBz> there's the earrings
<KBz> the tattoo
<KBz> the hat
<KBz> lol
<KBz> I feel like I'm playing a bar game.
<KBz> alright peoples I'm outta work. Till tomorrow...
<KBz> PEACE
* KBz (~Guest_055@168.184.243.207) Quit (Quit: kthxbai!)
<[MaX]> KBz is a total homo if he can describe all that.
Comment: http://forums.wtf.com/showpost.php?p=881297&postcount=12

#378 * + (33/65) - [X]
<[MaX]> OrangeGlow
<[MaX]> Replying to Thread
<[MaX]> Web Cam Sex.....
<V3N> lol
<[MaX]> http://forums.wtf.com/showthread.php?p=880110#post880110
<V3N> comedy
* OrangeHoe (~Yourmom@cpe-67-49-92-152.socal.res.rr.com) has joined #wtf.com
* [BRiT] sets mode: +v OrangeHoe
<[MaX]> heehee
* OrangeHoe is now known as Camsecks4
<Camsecks4> aw.
[20:03:45] <Guest_821> ewwww
[20:03:47] <V3N> lol
[20:03:52] <Camsecks4> I was going to put "camsecks4$"
[20:03:54] <[MaX]> <--Psychic
Comment: .

#377 * + (32/55) - [X]
* Guest_576 (~Guest_576@adsl-146-182-248.mem.bellsouth.net) has joined #wtf.com
<Guest_576> hi
<Guest_576> ladies wanna chat
* Guest_576 was kicked by [Jung] (lol)
Comment: .

#375 * + (34/72) - [X]
<OrangeGlo> My friend and I just paraded around runescape chanting
<OrangeGlo> "christians follow a false god"
<OrangeGlo> some guy comes up to me and goes
<OrangeGlo> "youre going to hell"
<OrangeGlo> so I follow him and go
<OrangeGlo> "Have you ever done something the bible considers wrong?
<Draygoon> I mean, seriously. If we were acquaintances IRL I believe I'd drive you to work once or twice, you seem like a decent enough fellow, but you can bet I'd vever trust you not to screw me if i let you have free run with my money
<OrangeGlo> Have you ever lied to get outta shcool, or cheated on your girlfriend?"
<OrangeGlo> at this point hes screaming
<OrangeGlo> "stop it!"
<OrangeGlo> "go away!"
<OrangeGlo> and i keep going
<OrangeGlo> "Then you are going to hell too
* OrangeGlo was kicked by [BRiT] (stop it! go away!)

#373 * + (34/70) - [X]
<jane> i needed to charge the laptop lol
<Draygoon> ah
<jane> i had 21% left
<Draygoon> fortyish minutes?
<jane> yes
<jane> you loser.
Comment: that is just sad

#372 * + (32/68) - [X]
<Draygoon> Rook
<Draygoon> Want an under-the-table BJ?
<Rook> Yeah.
<Rook> Sure.
Comment: .

#371 * + (38/66) - [X]
<[Static]> So, my friend is a dyke, right?
<V3N> go on
<[Static]> And she and I were talking about one of her ex's, and she was like, "You know... I wish she had a penis. There was seriously too much vagina in that relationship. And not in a good way."
<FDDICent> [Static] Vagina! It's not just for breakfast anymore! Unless you're [Static] ...then it's teh cawk.
<[Static]> And it struck me as incredibly hilarious for some reason.

#370 * + (39/70) - [X]
[01:29] <@DG2> GET YOUR LAZY ASS UP THOSE TITS RIGHT NOW PRIVATE DEAD BABY ONE MILLION
[01:29] <@DG2> ha ha ha
[01:29] <@DG2> loms
[01:29] <+loms> what?
[01:30] <@DG2> you aren\'t old enough for this convo
[01:30] <@DG2> go to bed.
[01:30] <+V3N> DG, exactly
[01:30] <+V3N> about sperm, not loms
[01:30] <+loms> DG, I\'ve done things you and CL can only dream of
[01:30] <@DG2> lol
[01:30] <+loms> well
[01:30] <@DG2> ha ha ha
[01:30] <+loms> I\'ve masturbated to things

#369 * + (44/86) - [X]
<zoloftcas> You dont even have any pics of me, dork
<WizardlyF> that's what you think
<zoloftcas> o
<WizardlyF> I thought of something more awkward
<WizardlyF> but I shall restrain myself
<WizardlyF> because it's that bad
<Icarus> Zolocaust is hot
<Icarus> I have pics of her
<WizardlyF> didnt you post your picture in the booby thread zoloft?
<WizardlyF> which I definitely DONT have as my desktop background
<GiantsW|n> She posted a pic of her Huge cans
<BrIONwosh> I saved them.
<GiantsW|n> me too
<GiantsW|n> that pic is my wallpaper
<GiantsW|n> and not the wallpaper on my computer. I did my livingroom in it.
<WizardlyF> I had it custom printed on toilet paper
<WizardlyF> because Im into poop
<zoloftcas> Awesome
<WizardlyF> so every time I wipe
<GiantsW|n> p
<WizardlyF> OH YEAH
Comment: .

#368 * + (41/81) - [X]
<NYGiants> Sweeny Todd isn't as lame as one might think for a musical.
<NYGiants> I'm not a huge fan of musicals
<[BRiT]> The best musical in existence is BtVS:TS OMWF
<V3N> what's your favorite musical, MaX?
<NYGiants> It's between Chitty chitty Bang Bang (the midget anal porn version) and Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory (the 2 girl one cup version)

#367 * + (48/88) - [X]
<Unspun> I\'d kick someone in their dick if they tried to ass fuck on my stuff
Comment: no gay humping on unspuns stuff.

#365 * + (41/76) - [X]
<Icarus> I like my work. Mmmm, 8 hour day
* Icarus grabs money by the balls.
<Icarus> 8 hours at $15/hr
<[Taylor]> you grab balls for money?

#364 * + (35/68) - [X]
<steelasp> MUSEE!
<eGhost> Hey Muse
<Musee> Hi.
<V3N> at this rate we're going to need a talking stick.
<[a|ien]> lol

#363 * + (37/70) - [X]
<[MaX]> France will be destroyed
<[Taylor]> before or after they waive the white flag?
Comment: i rofled

#362 * + (39/73) - [X]
<@[Taylor]> ya'll have fun, I'm out.
<@BrIONwosh> NO
<@BrIONwosh> I refuse.
<@BrIONwosh> AND
<@BrIONwosh> YOU CAN'T MAKE ME
<@BrIONwosh> asswipe
<+OrangeGlo> Do it or ill tell J to revoke your modship.
<+OrangeGlo> and youll probably commit suicide after that
<+OrangeGlo> So do you wanna die as a mod or an ex-mod?
<+OrangeGlo> DO YOU WANNA DIE AS AN EX-MOD?
<+OrangeGlo> DO YOU?
* BrIONwosh sets mode: -v OrangeGlo
Comment: ROFFLE!

#361 * + (41/81) - [X]
<Icarus> Unspun, that's just one more reason I hate women.
* [Taylor] taps icky on the shoulder
<Icarus> Yes Taylor?
<[Taylor]> story time?
<Unspun> LOL
<Icarus> This one is called "Why I hate Women"
<Unspun> XD
<Unspun> You can't do that one though Icarus.
<Icarus> However it is in "I need to leae for work in 45 minutes" mode
<Unspun> I've already done it.
<Icarus> I bet mine's just as goo
<Icarus> d
<[Taylor]> unspun, no talking during icky story time
<Unspun> Pfft.
<Icarus> ^^
<Unspun> =(
<Icarus> Okay, my first girlfriend was an unmedicated bipolar junior high student.
<Icarus> I was a junior high student too and you know how fucked up that is
<Icarus> Everyone out there in the crowd, repeat after me
<Unspun> Aren't you still in Jr High?
<Icarus> "Unmedicated, bipolar, junior high student"
* Unspun was kicked by [Taylor] (damn it, no talking during icky's story time)
<Icarus> Unspun, two demerits for you
* [BRiT] sets mode: +v Unspun
<Icarus> Anyways, I hope that has set in
<Icarus> Unmedicated, bipolar, junior high student
<Icarus> She was so fucking screwy. We dated for two years
* [Taylor] nods
<Icarus> I put up with her shit because I was raised without a fatherfigure by a bitter woman who stereotyped men as being insensitive and only wanting one thing
<Icarus> I thought that the right thing to do was put up with an emotional infant
<Icarus> Anyways, after two years of being patient with her, snorted cocaine, cheated on me, and then slit her wrists
<Icarus> I forgot to mention she was a cutter
<Icarus> Welcome to ninth grade
* [Taylor] nods, and checks off.... "ninth drade bad.....check mark"
<Icarus> Next girl that I was really into, in tenth grade, treated me like shit. We went on a few dates but were never serious
<Icarus> she treated me like a dog
<Icarus> So I moved on
<Icarus> But she was SO hot it blew my mind. About a month ago she called me and was like "What's up? Do you miss me? Are you single?"
<Icarus> And in my mind I was like "BITCH YOU LIVE 4 MILES AWAY FROM ME NOW. TWO YEARS TOO LATE BITCH"
<Icarus> The next girl I was really into was the summer before eleventh grade. I met this chick in Europe, she went to the same school as me and we were on a tour together
<Icarus> We had a whirlwind romance even though she had a man at home. We got back and she dumped him and it was peachy keen
<Icarus> Or so I thought
<Icarus> It turns out that she had a shit ton of issues and she sabotaged our relationship with her sourness and baggage until I couldn't stand to be with her
<Icarus> And RIGHT when I felt like I had to cut her from the team, her ex that I "stole" her from tried to kill both of our families. THANKS CHELSEA!!!!
<Icarus> After that I had a lot of short flings. No big deal. After that I dated this chick who was a model in Japan. After our first date she drunk-dialed me and told me she loved me
<Icarus> I had red flags, she was bitchy and shallow
<Icarus> But I went on more dates with her and on our second or third date, she totalled her car, not wearing her seat belt, and had a concussion and arm injuries.
<Icarus> That night, her mom tried to commit suicide because the insurance had lapsed on her car and there was no way to pay for it
* [Taylor] shakes head
<Icarus> And her mom got locked up in a looney bin
<Icarus> Her dad lived far, far away
<Icarus> and this bitch had nobody to help her or take care of her
<Icarus> So even though she was a colossal super bitch, I spent months upon months carting her ass everywhere and doing everything for this bitch
<Icarus> She treated me worse than anybody I've ever known
<Icarus> One time, we had planned to order a pizza, rent a couple movies, and have some "us time"
<Icarus> I picked her up from school and she was like "I have a headache so I think I'm just going to go home and go to sleep"
<Icarus> So I was like "Okay" and I started to drive her home
<Icarus> And like half way there, the bitch answers her phone and proceeds to tell a male voice what she's wearing, including her underwear
<Icarus> And then she makes plans to go hang out with him later that day
<Icarus> And I pull the car over and I'm like "WHAT THE FUCK"
<Icarus> And she has no idea what she did wrong or why that was mean in any way.
<Icarus> She literally told me she thought I was evil, not because of anything I'd done but just because of my "aura"
<[Taylor]> lol
<Icarus> She threw away clothing of mine that was critical of G. W. Bush because she was republican
<Icarus> Without telling me
<Icarus> She got mad at me for "leading on" and "flirting with" her best friend, of which I did no such thing
<Icarus> And then she tried to set up a three-way with me, her, and that best friend
<Icarus> She was the craziest, bitchiest person ever, there are so many more stories about how fucked up she is
<Icarus> But eventually I just cut her from the team and left her ass on the side of the road (literally)
<[Taylor]> lol
<Icarus> After that I dated an actress, you've probably seen her in a few movies, although I would feel weird telling you her name
<Icarus> She was the only person who wasn't TERRIBLE to me
<jane> vollllderrrrrmoooort
<Icarus> But she couldn't handle our relationship because of baggage from a prior relationship, and she found that out after we had dated for 6 months and tried a very taxing long-distance relationship
<Icarus> Yes Jane, the one I refer to as Voldemort, hahaha
<jane> :) i knoq
<jane> *know
<[Taylor]> omg, some people need to learn how to take a joke.
<Icarus> And so, we broke up. Since then, I have dated girls who have lied to me, been bitches (spent $70 for this bitch to get into somewhere that we hadn't expected to go to, and she didn't say thank you???????)
<[Taylor]> bbiab. See ya ick
<Icarus> Bye Taylor
<jane> bye bye taylor
<Icarus> And I also have dated girls with poor communication
<Icarus> And all this, you see, has led me to the conclusion
<Icarus> That women are terrible monsters and they're all bitches and there is no way to be anything more than friends with them.
<Icarus> And that's Icky Story time for today.

#360 * + (36/71) - [X]
<Unspun> lmao http://forums.wtf.com/showpost.php?p=862825&postcount=8
<Unspun> I love uber.
<DullBulle> Wow he must be flexible
<KB|werk> nah, he's just got REALLY saggy balls.
<KB|werk> Don't ask me how I know that.
<DullBulle> I think I will
<DullBulle> How do you know that?
<KB|werk> Jane told me.
<KB|werk> She's got pictues.
<KB|werk> I tried to get him to PM them to me too...
<KB|werk> no success.
<DullBulle> Anyway...
<[MaX]> Why did you want pics of Uber's balls?
<KB|werk> Ickys
<KB|werk> not ubers
<[MaX]> oh
<V3N> lmao
<[MaX]> fag
<V3N> same diff
<KB|werk> nah. icky's pret

#359 * + (35/72) - [X]
Icarus: "Hey, how have you been?" (in my mind: I fucked you in your grandma's bathroom and sucked on your titties.)
}Slinger{: im too laid back for that
Comment: Hey, how have you been?

#358 * + (44/80) - [X]
<TFO>Darkling I\'m 17
<darkling8>still
<darkling8>that is too young
<TFO>and I would love to see your nipples.
<loms>I\'m 18
<TFO>If it puts your mind at ease, I\'m 24
<TFO>really
<Unspun>ten bucks says I get pics of her tits before you do.
Comment: friggin preeverts

#356 * + (34/65) - [X]
<MehMeh> I\'m watching some weird program about some german guy who hooked up with this other guy and they chopped his penis off and ate it together and then he killed him.
<jane> ew
<jane> thats just DISGUSTING
<MehMeh> And then he watched it back and masturbated to it.
<Musee> WTF
<jane> ewwww
<Unspun> nice meh
<MehMeh> and it was the first time he was turned on in like 5 years.
<Unspun> wow
jane gags
<MehMeh> Wait... they chopped his penis off and then he tried to eat it with the other guy and it was too tough
<MehMeh> so they fried it!
jane gaaaaaaags
<Icarus> I don\'t like it but it tastes like it did when it was new
Comment: icky has REALLY bad timing

#355 * + (34/70) - [X]
<nooob> im bored
<Unspun> why are you bored?
<Unspun> go study ad =P
<Unspun> cad*
<nooob> the only thing i struggle in cad with now is drawing stairs :s
<[MaX]> _
<[MaX]> |_
<[MaX]> |_
<[MaX]> |
<[MaX]>
<[MaX]> owned
<nooob> lmao
<Unspun> lol

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